25, Single, Liz Lemonesque lady - learning to love herself & life while being obsessed with coffee, her geeky fandoms, and all things strange. Schtick I love: Doctor Who, Star Wars, Star Trek, Chrono Trigger, Hannibal, Babylon 5, anything nerd, anything food related, anything positive, and ANYTHING COFFE om nom nom.
It’s 1am so I’m sorry for the people who won’t see this. But if you want confidence and don’t know how to get it, a really good way is to be confident in other people. When you walk into Starbucks, think, “damn, that barista’s hair is da bomb!” Or when you go to school, think, “my teacher is rocking that skirt!” When you start seeing everyone as being beautiful, at some point you realize that you’re everyone too.
I hate that when I finally get a day off from my two jobs I feel that every message or phone call is about one of my jobs.
That fear stems from the fact that every time I am not scheduled at one of my jobs, open of them wants to claim my time.
And being the helpful person I am, saying, “no I’m not available to come in” eats away at my insides so I can’t even enjoy my so-called moments of peace.
I just find it so fucked that a lot of people can’t find decent full time jobs and then they have to support themselves with two part time jobs and then both of their employers wonder why they are so stressed or have that dead look in their eyes. It’s like “give me a full time job so I can manage and balance all aspects of my life or don’t expect me to give everything and more than any person can physically handle”.
Basically, I just find it so hard to say no to my jobs but also know it’s absolutely necessary and don’t know how to deal.